Having a Baby

We had tried all night to calm our new baby. My husband had taken his turn so I could get some sleep, but now it was four in the morning and I was alone in the endless night.

I held him, I nursed him, I walked and I sang, but still he cried. Finally I spread his blanket on the carpet next to the table, and laid him there beside me. In utter defeat, I put my head down in my arms and cried with him. I cried until tears pooled up on the table, so deep I thought I could drown.

My new baby was unhappy, and I didnÂ’t know how to help him.

Curtis was my second child, and I was supposed to know how to be a good mother by now. My daughter had loved to cuddle, and nursing would always quiet her. My sonÂ’s crying never seemed to stop, and nursing didnÂ’t help.

The doctor was pleased with his progress, and assured us it was “just colic”. We were glad he was healthy, but night after night we were helpless as he cried.

We learned to sleep in shifts, and over time things did get a little betterÂ…or maybe we just got used to it.

Then one day, when Curt was about 4 months old, he and I were home alone, cozy in the big rocking chair by the living room windows. Sunshine streamed in, and we were warm and content in the quiet afternoon.

We rocked for a long time, enjoying each other and the peace of the moment. As I looked into Curt’s eyes, I suddenly felt him tell me, as clearly as if he had spoken the words aloud, “Mom, I need pork chops!”

Now, I had been proud that my daughter had nothing but breast milk for her first 6 months, and she was healthy and happy. Long after she started solid food, I supplemented with nursing, and I nursed her to sleep, treasuring our special time together.

But Curt had other ideas. I made a decision to let go of what IÂ’d done before, and opened my heart to hear.

That very day I bought supplemental baby food. Long before he reached 6 months, he was completely weaned. It grieved me to give up nursing, but the crying stopped, and we all got some sleep. Best of all, Curt was much happier.

Children grow, and early struggles give way to new concerns. Our doctor thought Curt might have allergies, but though we suffered through rows of needle sticks up and down his back, all we learned was that tree pollen and dust might make him sneeze. As he got older, he had fewer problems, and was a happy, healthy boy.

One hot summer’s day when Curt was 8 years old, our family was enjoying a lazy afternoon with friends. We decided ice cream would be the best cure for the heat, and the kids bounced and chattered with excitement as we piled into cars, heading out to our favorite ice cream spot. All but my son, that is. When one of the moms asked why he was so quiet, Curt said “Oh, I don’t like to eat ice cream. Milk makes my stomach hurt.”

As I heard his words, I was catapulted back into an earlier afternoon, and his silent plea for “pork chops”. All those painful nights of crying suddenly made sense.

Curt was lactose intolerant, and now he could tell us with words. By trusting our communication long before he could speak, we had moved naturally to a diet more healthy for him.

As life has moved on, weÂ’ve faced the growing pains of each new stage together. In every struggle, from backyard scrapes to cars and dating, IÂ’ve tried to remember to listen with my heart.

You can trust your heart to learn the language of your heart. When problems arise, stay open to what you hear. Build on the foundation of all youÂ’ve experienced, then start fresh every morning.

Listen to your child in love, and trust your heart to hear.

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Posted on January 29th, 2009 by admin
Filed under: Having a Baby